Akatsu WHAT THE HECK!
by Pistols n Daisys
Summary: The Leader...HAS LOST HIS MIND ...and his instructions are quite confusing and so is their missions and such. And all of the members never seem to get along..what could possibley go wrong right? cough everything cough
1. Chapter 1  Tobi Is A Good Boy

– Lol...actually my first fan fic but what the hey...read and enjoy --

The leader stands in front of everyone and begins to speak.

"Hello everyone I am..."

He is interupted by Tobi."are you a shadow?"

"No, I am a living human being."

"Oh,...are you my Mommy?" Everyone busts up laughing.

"Who is this clown hn?" said Deidara."

He just blew in from de-da-dee ville." said Kisame.

"ALL OF YOU FREAKS SHUT UP!"yells the leader.

"We were just getting to know the new guy." said Itachi.

"Be quiet you loser weasel you." There was a big "Ooooo" from all of the other members.

"You got told !" said Zetsu. All of the sudden a book was whipped at Zetsu that caused him to twitch.

"Shut your trap!" yelled the leader.

" Ya! You're flytrap!" said Kakuzu.

Laughter filled the air once again.

The leader thinks to himself... why does a simple introduction of a new member have to be so difficult. And why in the world did I ask all of these morons to join?

"Lets sacrifice him!"yells Hidan.

Kakuzu hits him"Religious nut."

"Miser"

"Religious nut"

"Miser"

"Religious nut"

"Miser"

"R N"

"Miser"

"R N"

"Miser"

"R N"

"Hidan-san is a registered nurse!?" said Tobi.

"Oh my god! This guy is killing me hn!" said Deidara.

"Shut up or else I will crack your nuts!!!" said the leader.

Everyone got really quiet but the silence was broken by when Kisame whispered

" Yeah except for transvseti Deidara." Itachi made a face and everyone starts busting up laughing again. The leader sighs and then signals for Tobi to stand beside him.

" Ok everyone, this is Tobi, Tobi say hello.""Tobi is a good boy!"

Everyone starts to laugh again. " What a pathetic one hn! Does he not get it!? Hn"

The leader speaks " Laugh it up Deidara. Because this fine new member is your new (words of truth! lol) PARTNER"

These words echo inside Deidara's skull like a good dream gone bad." Now Tobi, be a good boy and go stand beside your new partner."

Tobi skips over to where Deidara stands. Deidara looks at him with an annoyed look on his face."Touch me you little prick ( word brought to you by Brittney Naugle lol had a writers block and she filled in that word for me) and you will never see the light of day Hn. And seriously Hn if you want to talk to me, talk to the hand." Deidara holds up one of his hands to Tobi's face. The hand smiles at Tobi.

"Whoa! Very cool Deidara-sama." Tobi goes ro touch it when Deidara pulls it away.

"Hn, dont even this about it."

Tobi clutches his head."Sorry Deidara-sama!Tobi is sorry! Tobi is a good boy!

" Deidara just crosses his arms and looks away."Nice Deidara nice." said Kisame.

"Shut up fish paste Hn."

"Idiot."

"Calamari Hn."

"Doofus."

"EVERYONE SHUT UP!!! This is twice I had to shut you guys up. Now listen closely. We will be going on a series of missions and such to make a name for ourselves. Not to mention earning cash."

The leader is interupted by Kakuzu "YAY MONEY!!!"

"Yeah...money...so anyways our fist mission is...TO STEAL KAKASHI SENSEI'S BOOK!" 


	2. Chapter 2 Book Thieves

– Chapter two..waves flag with Akatsuki symbol on it ..horray...-

"Yes that's right, steal his book and cause him ultimate confusion and take away his safe place from the rest of the world! Buahaha!"

Everyone joins in with the'buahaha' thing.

"Ok now anyone have any questions? Comments?"

"Tobi is a good boy."

"Oo ok... now off we go, just follow my lead." They follow the leader into the leader into the village where Kakashi-sensei is with his students , Sasuke(boo) Sakura(ewww) and Naruto(sugar high) training in an open field within a forest. The leader uses his telepathy in order for them to communicate without being herd.

"Ok now, we need to distract Kakashi somehow..."

Zetsu picks up a rock and whips it at Naruto. This knocks Naruto out cold.

"Ok...now exactly what I had in mind.. but that will work" They watch Kakashi to see what he will do. All he does is glance up.. then goes back to reading his pervy book. All of the **Akatsuki** member's jaws drop.

"Ok everyone, that didn't have much effect."

"Not only are you good at throwing stuff.. but you are good at getting hit by stuff!" said Kakuzu. Everyone started to laugh really hard.

" Shut up you freaks, now work on distracting the others."

"Naruto, you are such a lazy ninja. I hope none of Kakashi's way of ninja is rubbing off on you." said Sakura.

"Loser...he is going to fall behind for sure."said Sasuke.

"Stop chatting and keep working." said Kakashi. All of the sudden Sakura trips on a vine that randomly on the ground ( lol Zetsu! Yay!!!) And she biffs her big forehead off the ground. "Ow! What the heck!?"

"Hehehe I love doing that to people."said Zetsu.

"Way to go tree hugger now, we need to actually catch his attention not torment his students...though its quite funny."

Sasuke thinks to himself, why did I ever get assigned with these losers? And why does it feel like Im being watched...oh well not like im going to do anything about it.

"Ok everyone pay attention we are going to commit..."

He is interupted by Hidan"Suicide". The leader punches him and then he continues his speech

" as I was saying, we will commit a chain reaction where Tobi runs out and starts swearing in front of Kakashi, Zetsu will then rush out to bind his students. Kisame will then run out and knock them all out with his big ol sword. Then Hidan will start to praise his weird God thing to confuse everyone. When Kakuzu aids Zetsu in the binding, Deidara will fling clay into Kakashi's hair. After that Itachi will create an illusion. Last, when everything is said and done, I will take the book from the twitching Kakashi. VICTORY FOR **AKATSUKI**!!!"

Everyone does a cheer. They were just about to execute their plan...when...Kakashi speaks

"Well that's all for today bye poof."

The **Akatsuki**'s mouths all drop open and their eyes widen to the size of saucers. Team seven didn't even notice them because they were turned around and were too far away. The students start to walk away from their training ground to middle of Konoha.

Kakuzu jumps out of the bushes and kicks a rock"Oh man! There goes my money!"

"Quite down you fool. We are in Konoha...which hates our guts." said Hidan.

"Ok everyone listen up, new plan, we will find his house, actually distract him this time. And then take the book." said the leader while rubbing his hands together.

"Are you trying to start a fire leader-san?" said Tobi 


	3. Chapter 3Kakashi's Nightmare

The **Akatsuki** wait until it starts to get dark, then the Leader leads the group towards Kakashi's house. The leader uses his secret jutsu to enable the telepathy again.

"Ok. now Tobi go run over there and distarct those dogs."

"How is Tobi to do that leader-san?"

"Just run over there, get their attention, then start running."

"Got ya."Tobi skips down to where the dogs are, picks up a bone, whacks the big one in the nose with it and starts running while the whole pack chases him. Tobi leads them into the forest where the barking and baying of the hounds dies off.

The leader jumps off his perch in the tree and sneaks over to Kakashi's window and peers inside. He can see Kakashi sitting there reading his book. He glances at the clock, sets the book down and goes to the door.

"Ok everyone...time to come in." When he realizes that all of his dogs are gone he goes off running down the road shouting "I can't believe they would run away! Come back here!"

The leader watches this and then gives a signal, all of the members come over to him. Kakuzu uses his threads to open the window. All the members climb in except for Zetsu and Kisame. Kisame's sword would not fit and he refused to take it off and Zetsu...well just couldn't fit. The leader grabs the book and hold it up.

"Success! Good job everyone!"

"Hey leader, there seems to be all kinds of these books in his room."

"Good work Itachi, find a bag and shove them all in it."

Hidan stumbles upon a really big bag and they all start to shove all the pervy books in them. After that they try to make a run for it with the books. But the bag could not fit through the window. When Kakashi ran out of the house he shut the door before he ran after his dogs. So Kakuzu picked the lock on the door and they made off with all of Kakashi's prized pervy books. When Kakashi got back with his dogs, he is a very broken man indeed,

"Nooooooo!!! All of my books! And I was almost finished with it!...Oh well, I have an extra copy of that one from the library." He walks into the kitchen and pulls out a toaster and pulls out a book from the slot. "Hehe." He finishes the last page and is once again a broken man."Now I have to wait for the next volume! Those fiends!!!!"

Indeed Mr.Kakashi-sensei was a broken man...


End file.
